I have believed for a while now that the thing that is wrong with people, why so many people are so fucked up, is because they have forgotten who and what they are.
I asked Mark just today if he believes that you can just "know" things... if he believed you can "inherit" knowledge from your ancestors... he looks at me like I'm crazy, but, then he didn't even know what a savant is so I will just discount the fact that he looks at me like I'm a crazy woman.
I do.
I believe I know things from my ancestors, my way-back people. I think I know things from all of humanity, from the very earth itself. I believe we are that connected..
or
we could be, if we just knew how to open our minds and hearts to it.
Emily and I watched Avatar, again, for the uptenth time a few nights ago and as always it sends my mind to spinning like a wheel, thinking about our connection... to earth... to life.. to each other...
and, yes, I do also believe in the butterfly effect.
I have been pondering in particular our connection to plant life. I have been reading a book that deals with sacred ceremony. In almost every ceremony there is the use of herbs or plants of some kind. What have we lost that we no longer know about that connection, that bit of healing, that part of ourselves?
If you ask most people if they felt connected to a plant or a tree.. once again, you would get the crazy eye.
But, seriously, how many people can look at a beautiful rose and not be touched by its beauty. Or, who can stand close to a hundred foot tree and not feel the awe of its power and majesty. It makes you suck in your breath and stand a little taller in its presence.
In the past couple of weeks, sickness has run through our houses like it has some sort of right to be here. I have gone out several times and smudged (or burned) cedar in our fire pit as a prayer of protection. I didn't have any white sage to use for cleansing or I would have done it first.
Levi ordered us some made-for-ceremony white sage smudge sticks. He brought them over last night to show me, I had never seen any made by someone who knew what they were doing. Beautiful. A silvery white fuzzy plant tied in an eight inch long stick, two - three in diameter. As is my normal, I had to open them so I could smell them ( I have to smell everything... which sometimes is not good)
I opened the bag and took a deep breath breathing in the warm scent of sage......................
my reaction totally surprised me
I immediately without any other thought started crying. Tears came to my eyes and the emotion was overwhelming. I felt like just breaking down and bawling. Since we were all sitting at the table together, it was a little weird, so, I kind of just laughed it off but I couldn't get over how it effected me... so strange.
I have to wonder why? I am still wondering why?
I told Levi today that I am almost afraid of doing the smudging ceremony, afraid of the emotions it is going to release.
2 comments:
I absolutely believe in our connection to each other and the world around us both past and present. Have I ever told you about my "past life" memory?
When I was about 6 or 7 I was swinging and a plane flew over head. The sound triggered a memory, but it wasn't a memory I could ever have had. I was in an apartment in a big city. My guess is that it was sometime in the 40's. I was sitting at the window pulling in laundry and as I pulled in the laundry a plane flew over head. I could smell the fresh air from the window and feel the soft cotton of the laundry in my hands. I looked down and could see that I was wearing a white shirt with flowers and I felt the curls of my hair touching my face.
Several times throughout my life when I've seen or heard a plane I've had that memory. It usually makes the hair on the back of my next stand up, but not in a frightening way.
I think I've shared this with you before.
I'm not sure if it is a past life memory or a passed down memory. I believe that our DNA holds more information than we currently know.
I'm interested to know what happens when you burn the sage.
When I was growing up in that house in Allen I used to have the same sort of recurring dream. About a family that I believe used to live there a long time ago. 2 little girls, I always just watched them do their normal daily things. Dad would be gone a while at times and it'd just be about Mom and girls. I could see the clothes hanging in the closet. Not many and mostly just multiple of the same outfits. Hand sown. I've had a few other similar experiences in other places, but not like that. I wish I could figure out how to slow down enough and open that part up to be more connected. I totally get what your saying about the trees and stuff also. There are a couple in my yard I'm drawn too in particular. Would love to have a more connected experience with the world around me. I've thought about doing the sage just because of the negativity that is in this house, but for the same reasons as you I have refrained from it. Not sure what emotion would be opened up. This house is selling though and we'll be moving in a little over a month, so we shall see what the new place brings.
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