I've been thinking about my post from yesterday. I've always said that as sad as it is, that is the way we learn most of what we've learned from "church" - the how not to hurt people by being hurt - and I've determined in my heart that this is a lesson I will take with me as I go back into the church scene.
I will look for those people who need to be helped that are being neglected, the people who need to be loved but no one else wants to love them because they don't act just right or smell just right or don't pay enough tithe to warrant attention.
Isn't that what Jesus said for us to do?? to love the unlovely, the poor, the downtrodden?
or did I get that wrong?
or are we supposed to give money to the building fund, support the youth group's trip to Santa Fe, buy a new dress to wear on Sunday.............
signed,
Always a Rebel
11 comments:
really i love this post a because it is so easy to be distracted from the Way at church.
erica - I so totally (boy, doesn't that sound valley girl?) agree... I've often said I had to leave church to find God and I have no intention of losing what I've found!!
I think you are on the right track (from one rebel to another). The building fund one really kills me. You should have seen the "suggestion" I submitted at my mom's church when they were asking for ideas regarding their new building.
I do love you, Kristen.
One of the biggest reasons that I became dis-enchanted with the church scene was because not only did people have to be spiritual, they also had to somehow be "Cool". The nerdy Christians who didn't quite fit in were ostracized and just found themselves further and further away from the goings on. I was a (gasp!) FAT girl and therefore dateable only by the worst of the 'bottom feeders'.
Since when was Cool necessary? All the ex-military people who ran our "Fort God" really seemed to have a disdain for the weak. The Bible college prided itself on it's boot-camp life style and I couldn't count the times I heard 'If you can't hack school, you sure won't be able to hack the ministry'.
After 3 1/2 years of full-time college, full-time job, many other part time jobs, and one semester when I did not sleep from Tuesday to Friday, someone asked me 'What are you trying to prove?'
The only answer was "What a Good Girl" I was. I never did make it to "Approved Girl" status (yes there was such a thing!) and later on my 'letter of recommendation' to another college said that I liked to take the easy way out.
But I digress.
Buildings, Dresses, Pastor's Wives Committees, who is 'cool. I can't hang. One (very perfect)friend of my dear Cheri asked my why I quit going to church and I said "I just can't take Church people anymore" and she said "But I'm Church People".
exactly
CV - those are all just some of the reasons I hate church. I saw more people being hurt than being helped. I saw so much manipulation and control. I hate the hype and emotionalism... but, in every church I've ever been in there were a few wonderful people that I loved.
Our kids are homeschooled so we always relied on church for some socialization for them.
It really hasn't been an issue with Seth up until now because the business we are in (music)gives Seth the opportunity to meet and be around a lot of people but, when he asked me take him to this youth group I knew it was time to bite the bullet and do what I had to do.
If it were up to me I would probably never go back to church other than an occasional visit to see the people I love.
I love you, too, A!
CV-I say the "church people" thing a lot, too. I guess it's good that the church attracts a lot of broken, screwed-up people...I just wish they would stop trying break everyone else.
As one of the people who often felt "not good enough" in the church setting this post hits home. Comming from the family setting I came from, I always felt as if I was trying to be good enough to deserve the attention of those in the church. I worried that my clothes were not good enough and was often embarassed by the fact that my family couldn't afford to have Sunday diner out with the rest of the group. It's an awful feeling to not feel included it what is supposed to be an all-inclusive group. For the logest time I could only think that it was something that was wrong with me. Now I can see that wasn't the case at all.
Sandy, I never knew you were made to feel that way. I'm so sorry, especially if I was ever a part of it... I always thought you were so freakin' awesome when we went to church together and still do!!
I took Seth to youth last night and oh, my, it was hard to watch him try to fit in. But, I've encouraged him to keep trying if it is important to him to be a part of the group.
Of course you were never a part of making me feel that way. I always felt 100% comfortable with you and Mark. (I thought/think you both were freaking awesome too.)
Seth will find his place. :)
Trying to fit in sux.
That's why I love the wonderful people I have in my life now.
I have through process of hard learning, managed to weed out those who love me for me. Not for what I have to offer them aside from my love, solidarity, and loyal friendship through good times and bad.
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