When we tell her we have to take her to see a new doctor she gets nervous and anxious and looks at us with pleading her in big blue eyes and her only question is..."will they hurt me, Momma?"

I tell her she will have to be brave and strong and she replies... "I'll try Momma, I try."

She has had/does have too much pain her short life. she has been cheated out of her life. she has lived with pain most of her life. hasn't enough happened to her already?

It makes me hate God.

I think of the movie title (although I've never actually watched it) "Children of a lesser God"... is that what Emily is? or am I just looking for someone or something to blame - probably.

She trusts us to make the right decisions, she trusts us to not let anyone hurt her.

How am I supposed to know? I have never met a doctor I trusted... how will I know if they are being truthful or just covering their ass...

I already can't sleep, making myself sick over the what-ifs

I can't even talk about the what-ifs