every time I try to write or even think about writing it just gets all whiny and bitchy and I don't bother...
I am going to try to just report how I am physically without sounding all pitiful..
My BP seems to be level, my pulse stays at about in the 73 -85 beats per minute range and the doc says that is fine. I still have the racing, pounding, tightness in my chest thing going on part of the time. I don't know what it is but it is so intermittent that I try to just ignore it. The new BP medicine makes me feel weird as hell for two or three hours after I take it every day. A friend of mine calls it the Rag Doll syndrome and that pretty much describes it but with other symptoms such as not being able to concentrate and feeling sort of frenzied... weird.
I'm having a hard time coping with it. I try to get as much done in the mornings as I can because my afternoons are shot. I'm tired all the time and wind up sleeping every afternoon for at least an hour or more.
On the up side, I am sleeping better. I am only taking a couple of melatonin at night and sleeping the whole night other than when I have to get up with Emily.
I expect to level out and hopefully get used to the medication. To be honest I am tired, tired, tired of thinking about it, worrying about it, talking about it... I feel like it has consumed me.
Last Friday I did something to my lower back/sciatic nerve area and seriously thought I was going to die the pain was so severe but after a horrible night, finally falling asleep at 5 the next morning and sleeping most of Saturday it felt better.. until yesterday and the pain started again for several hours. All I can figure is that yesterday was the first day I had walked since Friday and that aggravated it again. ????
Overall I just feel like shit, like I am falling apart, my body is failing and there seems to be nothing I can do. It scares me. I'm having panic attacks along with everything else and feel like there is not much hope.
so, there it is. I'm sorry it sounds so negative but I can't make it sound any other way.
3 comments:
I hate pain. I hate getting older. All of our years of hard living seem to really catch up with us.
I'm sending love and light your way.
Try and stay calm. I know it isn't fun, and health issues are very stressful, but getting excited and worrying only makes things worse. Again, I know it's easier said than done. I used to freak out over everything health related!
Back pain is the worst! I've thrown my lower back out a couple of times and couldn't walk for days.
What's the name of the meds you're on? Can you message me with them? I want to look them up in my drug guide and see what it says about them.
Keep taking care of yourself as best you can and find comfort in that.
Love you!
That is hard, A. I am glad you are sleeping better at least--sleep is so important.
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