Today has not been a good day.

My family is stressed to the max and I just don't know what might happen.

This is always our slow time of year in our businesses, this year worse than usual. We have been broke for so long now that there is just no reserve left - no reserve money, no reserve fortitude. Mark has himself to that point of being sick all the time, again and now it is affecting Levi in the same way. But, he doesn't handle it as well as his Dad. He was sick all last week with some sort of bug turned sinus infection. Levi has very definite OCD tendencies which leads to anxiety and lately panic attacks.

This morning at five twenty as Mark was getting ready to leave on his route, Levi came to the door. He didn't look good. He had woken up again having a panic attack and his blood pressure was at stroke level. Christi was taking him to the ER. I went to their house to stay with the babies.

They were home in a couple of hours, pretty quick for our ER. The doctor diagnosed him with panic disorder.

We all got a little sleep but then mid afternoon he had another attack. Between Christi and I we were able to talk him through it. I suggested that we work together on a project to keep him occupied and tire him out a little. So, we tore their kitchen apart and cleaned.

We are all exhausted, don't feel well, and worried about where this will end up.

On his last trip to my house tonight (and there have been many today) we discussed a plan of action for tonight. He hasn't slept well in several nights because of waking up in a panic. I gave him something to help him sleep and told him that if he wakes up at least now he knows it is not something physically wrong with him and we talked about ways for him to work through it.

I have to trust that he is strong of mind and body and together we can get him through this.