do you believe?

I love stories. I love to hear people's stories, to me it defines us as who we are. I guess that is why I love blogging soooo much. I get to hear your stories.

and you get to hear mine...

Anj got me to thinking about miracles.

Do you believe in miracles?

I am going to tell you guys some of my experiences with miracles. These aren't stories that have been passed down or heard second hand these are things that have happened directly to me.

At this point in my spiritual walk I feel like my relationship to the Godhead is pretty rocky. I still waver, a lot, in how I feel about God. Is she a loving, nurturing spirit or is he an uncaring, vindictive tyrant?

I want to believe that God is good and sometimes thinking about the good things in my life helps me to lean that way.

This little story happened before I ever made any kind of commitment to even try to follow God in any kind of Christian lifestyle.
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My Daddy died when I was 18 years old. I had been gone from home for a year and a half. I had a baby, Charlie,who was 1-1/2 years old. I was living with Charlie's dad in a trailer park. I had already figured out that my life with him was not going to be good but I had no idea how to get out of the mess I had gotten myself into.

Already an emotional wreck, my Daddy's passing devastated me. The day of his funeral I just didn't know if I was going to be able to live through it. My "husband" was supposed to be a pall bearer, but as was usual he was busy getting high. When it was time to go, I asked him to, please, get ready and come with me.

He dragged me into the back bedroom, slapped me around several times and told me to never tell him what to do again.

I washed my face and went to my Daddy's funeral alone.

Late that night I was sitting in the parking lot in front of the trailer. It was a hot July night and I needed to be alone. I sat on the back bumper of our car and cried. I cried and cried and then cried out to God to give me some sort of sign that my Daddy was okay. (as juvenile as that sounds, it is what I needed at that point).

Almost immediately a tiny little bird appeared as if from nowhere in that parking lot in the middle of the night. The little bird landed at my feet, hopped around in a little dance, sang a happy song, and flew away.

There's your sign.
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more miracle stories to come

miracles, cont.

My life itself is a miracle.

I lived in a horrible abusive situation for 12 years.
I know, most of you ask - Why? Why didn't you just leave?
But, unless you have been an abused woman I can't make you understand what it is like.
I knew the violence this man was capable of. I had seen him nearly beat a man to death.
I knew for certain that he had been involved in several murders.
So, when he told me that if I left and tried to hide that he would kill my family.
Or, when he told me that he would take my only son and disappear with him if I tried to leave,

I believed him.

After 12 years of living in fear and finding my only solace in drugs and alcohol,God gave me, when I cried out to him, the courage and the strength to walk away and never go back.
Not only that but delivered me from the drugs and alcohol.

I know you have all heard this story but it is my story, my hugest miracle and one worth telling over and over.

My life is a miracle... that I am alive, that I am not a total basket case, that I still have brain cells left, that I am married to a wonderful husband who truly loves me, that I was given another chance to raise three healthy, happy, sane children.

Miracle upon miracle.

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more tomorrow....

Good night and I love you all.