We were at Walmart last night, doing our weekly shopping while Seth was at youth.
Several times while I was shopping when a young woman would cross my path - not be in my way or cut in front of me, just cross paths - that she would apologize all over the place. It happened more than once, actually 3 different times with 3 different young women.
At first I didn't really think about it but after it happened again and again I started thinking about it. Why? Why were they apologizing to me? Were they embarrassed that they were taking up space? because they didn't do anything they needed to apologize for. It wasn't like any one of them ran me over, or blocked my way or anything...
of course that lead me to think about the whole "thing we fear" poem and wondering why so many women are like that? What in the world has happened in those women's lives that they have to apologize for being?
By the third time I wanted to yell at her and tell her to stop apologizing!!
Then... not long after I got home Levi came over to borrow my iron (and, of course, I just offered to iron his shirt for him). We were discussing his trip to Dallas today and his choice of clothes. He had a long sleeve black shirt and black pinstriped pants picked out to wear. I told him a light blue dress shirt would look more appropriate for spring and would look nice with the pinstriped slacks.
He made this comment .... "I like to disappear."
OK, wrong thing to say to me last night.
This is my Levi, my brilliant, beautiful, Levi, and, yes, I did come unwound on him.
How dare he try to make himself small. He is a bright and shining star and he should be noticed.
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
11 comments:
I am going to try to let that last paragraph sink in.
Is pardon me or excuse me better than I'm sorry?
Kristen, yes, I think so, because when they said "I'm sorry" it was like they had done something wrong by just being there - not one of them had done anything rude or in any way inconvenienced me -we were just in the same area at the same time.
Maybe they were just being over polite. I say I'm sorry a lot and get in "trouble" for it. Lovingly!
Excuse me is better.
I wish Emily Post would come back into fashion. People just have no idea how to behave. What's acceptable, and what's too much? What's rude?
I try to say excuse me and always thank you when someone holds a door for me.
That is so weird because I was just about to write a post about the epidemic of rudeness going on, particularly in the grocery store. If I had met those two women in the store, I would have cried and hugged them. I'll tell you, I've just about had it with people's attitudes of late.
I say I'm sorry too much. it's like a knee jerk reaction.
I guess I didn't write this well enough. I didn't mean it to be about "manners". I was trying to get a point across about women who try to make themselves small and unnoticed.
I'm all for being polite and respectful of one another but this was about something different altogether.
I don't think it's always a matter of trying to make themselves small or unnoticed. Maybe they were trying to acknowledge you so you didn't feel small and unnoticed.
i get you here, aola. i have a darling friend you used to apologize all over herself for things she had nothing to do with. Chris called her on it, asked to her to stop- that was four years ago. i recently saw her, she has flourished in a lot of ways, she says "sorry" a ton less.
you=who
and, thank you, Becky, for calling me to discuss this post.
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