I feel like I am always in a state of transition.. always growing, learning, changing. For me it is the only way to live. I would hate to be stuck in one state of mind all my life, to me change equals growth. No change means no growth.

That movie I watched the other day, "Camilla", (you really need to watch it - in fact I think I need to buy it so I can watch it often)sparked something in me and then Kristen started an interesting thread over on Finding Skinny.. which all together had my brain in high gear.

Today I've been thinking about my sister.
Whenever I run into to someone who knew her their comment is always -"she was one of a kind" and then how much they loved her.
She was definitely ONE OF A KIND. My sister knew how to live large. She was one of those women who you noticed when she walked into a room. You had to notice her, she wouldn't have it any other way. She filled up a room when she walked in.
She was out going and loud, she dressed in outrageous colors and looked gorgeous in everything she wore. She was not obnoxious, she was just Trudy, lovable, compassionate, full of life.
I was thinking, as I often have, of our differences. We were always built alike, big boobs, but where I learned to slightly hunch my shoulders and wear bigger shirts so they weren't so noticeable, Trudy wore tight sweaters and arched her back so you were damn sure to notice.

I'm tired of trying to make myself small and unnoticed. I have no idea why I do that.

We are embarking on a new journey of awareness and self-love. We are changing the rules. and We may wear purple to do it.

I took a first step this week. I bought myself the sexiest glasses - gold and glittery - bling, bling.